Secret Watcher
by Cobalt-Goddess
Summary: In the heat of battle, with death all around, what can happen when the watcher's being watched? One shot POV platonicy-romanticy/tragedyish/sad


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Secret Watcher

By Cobalt-Goddess

Sunrise promises hope over the eastern hills, we have defeated the enemy, and yet I am lost. 

Hurt and fear pour over me like rain as I cradle your lifeless form, my dreams washed as pale as your still, sad face, and I know, I've always known. 

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I saw you enter the Deep, aloof and powerful, desperately wary, and yet you came in honor and dignity, the epitome of the perfection of your race, and I hated you for it.

Hated you not for who you were, but what you were. So right, so noble, such a height I could never achieve, another hurdle I had to cross, to not just be as good as a man, but now as good as you.

I caught your attention for only a moment; me, the still small lad clad in gray and dirt. Surely a simple stupid Rohirric to you, one of the masses, a nobody 

You quickly turned away, whether from horror at the sight of a child clad in armor, or from the knowledge that you would be in the same situation soon, I knew not.

You were like them, unknowing and lost in the anticipation, you cared not for some small young boy in oversized armor or the terror in his eyes.

My eyes.

At that moment, you looked back, as if you could read what I had spoken to myself, and your eyes softened, you pitied me, and I knew it.

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The battle commenced, I found you near me commanding your people in your strong soft way, never condescending, always steady. 

Once I fell, stumbling on my too-big shoes, and as I hunched there on my knees, as scores of my kin flew by, you alone offered your hand to me.

I took the hand in need, not in want, and you lifted me carefully yet powerfully upright, quickly going back to your duties.

There was no joking, no ridicule of my youth so commonly given by the adult soldiers of Rohan, most of all, no pity. Such consideration made me feel equal to you, and you knew it.

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They said you were a watcher, guarding in secret the wood of your Lady. I believed it, for even there in the open you were silent and swift as a wolf in the brush.

Even your name meant Silent Watcher I realized to myself, amused at the look on your face when I told you this. The children of Rohan were educated indeed!

You didn't seem as much like that other, more bland and serene Elf, the only other one I'd ever met. You had passion for battle, a true anger for your enemies, and an obvious pride in your position at the head of your Garrison.

To me you would have seemed almost Rohirric, were it not for your ears.

At that I began to wonder how your name would be said in my tongue, and decided it would be a good name indeed, were you a Man and not an Elf. 

I had scant time for thought, though, as there came a deafening explosion of breaking rock and smoke below us. 

The Deep had been breached.

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In terrible determination I cut at the ropes and the ladders of the Orc bezerkers, sending far too few of them to their deaths below.

You, on the other hand, sliced through the quickening throng at though they were mere smoke, fantasy creatures meant for dreams and not harsh reality.

Several times I almost died as I dodged an arrow, or ducked a Scimitar's blow, but never did I take my eyes off you, wondering how you so easily defeated them.

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A lull in the fighting and abundant injuries found us in the infirmary, bandages being wrapped on my head and on your delicate wrist.

You were staring at me, and it was clear that you knew you'd been watched. "Why do you watch me in Battle?" you asked, eyebrow arched, daring me to play dumb.

Embarrassed and feeling a fool, I stuttered over my explanation, but you interrupted me in mid ramble with a rare smile.

"You think to learn how I fight, to better fight yourself?" I nodded my answer.

"Child," you responded. "A warrior fights the enemy foremost from within himself. If you learn this, to battle their control over your emotions first, you have already won the physical war."

"Do you fear them?" you asked in your soft voice. Truthfully "Yes" I answered, and to my surprise you agreed with me.

"Fear is a defense, like bravery is to offence, never ignore what Eru, through your feelings, is telling you."

Then, probing me with your eyes, you added: "They can do no more than end your life, and life is never the end."

You were right, you always were, and I held onto your words, knowing that I might still have need of them.

Bravely, and with much understanding between us, we went back to war.

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Scimitar to sword, a parry there and thrusting through I ended another creatures' existence, and although I feared, I was not afraid.

Your Archers fired volley after volley as we men held your sides, the arrows so strongly released as to be audible feet below in the rain, crunching through Orc mail and helms.

"Tangado Haid! Hado e' Filin!" You bellowed as another silver shower cascaded upon our hated enemies. 

Many were struck as the Orcs gave their answer, but not you, a raised brow was your only response save your stance as you held your ground.

Side by side we fought, Sword and Bow, like lightning and rain, in the thundering shower.

Graceful yet forceful, beautiful yet vicious, you were as a swan with razor talons. I watched you, and understood, and I no longer hated you for it.

I smiled when you looked at me, your eyes held something, Respect? I hoped, for I respected you, and desired nothing but to be like you, and you knew it.

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Far too many Orcs still made their way onto the parapet, and I found myself slicing through one Uruk, twisting to meet another in his place.

They were like angry Hornets from a broken Hive as deftly I stung them back. My friends and their parents lay fallen and bleeding beneath me. 

"Mummy!" I heard a small child cry as I swung from a precipice. The Uruks had discovered the entrance to the caves!

Breathlessly I ripped the helm from my head and, entering the door in frightening fury, slit the throat of the treacherous beast before it even knew I'd come

The women stared at me in horror and gratitude as I, bloodied and bruised, held the screaming child in my arms. They almost did not recognize the man I had become. 

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As I fought my way back through the Deep, I wished to myself that the evil creatures would turn to dust at the soon coming dawn.

Then a feeling, sudden and quick took me. As you would say, Eru was telling me something, it was then I saw an Orc, once feigning death, now looming over me, scimitar held high.

A sudden cry in an alien tongue and I was crushed to the ground, my breath ripped from my chest as I felt the weight of something large against my back.

I heard your soft sigh, and I knew it was you, you had sheltered me, watched me. And as I felt your blood seeping through my mail shirt, I knew you'd saved my life with your very own.

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As I lay there in the Deep, holding you, feeling your soul slide down to Mandos, you smiled at me, and I knew.

You knew all along.

As they crowded around you, trying to save your already fading life, most overlooked the small boy that loved you, that longed to honor you, to take your name and have it hallowed forever in the Great Hall.

Secret Watcher, Warrior, Hero.

Suddenly, I felt a hand against my shoulder as the Dwarf comforted me. He alone saw you save me, and knew my pain. 

He asked me my name, and I knew then how I would honor you, your life would not be the end. In me your name would go on. Secret Watcher, Haldir, but in my own tongue.

Gathering my strength, and with it a small spark of hope, I looked into his green eyes and answered.

"My name is Dernhelm."


End file.
